


SEMISHIRA: Troubled Hearts

by Porcupixel



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Haikyuu - Freeform, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, Inspired by Music, M/M, Post-Break Up, SemiShira - Freeform, kawanishi taichi is a good friend, sad ending or happy ending?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:54:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26560039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Porcupixel/pseuds/Porcupixel
Summary: It's been a year, but can things finally be resolved between Semi and Shirabu?Inspired by the song 'I Miss You' by Clean Bandit ft. Julia Michaels.
Relationships: Semi Eita & Shirabu Kenjirou
Comments: 5
Kudos: 27





	SEMISHIRA: Troubled Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> The version I listened to was by Reason. It's acoustic, I think. So I kinda pictured Semi singing it. Anyways, thanks for choosing to read my work! Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it!

The sneakers he wore to their first date, the white jeans he was wearing when they danced in the rain, the two-sizes-too-big shirt he stole from Semi, and the brown hoodie Semi gave him for his 19th birthday. Shirabu scanned his reflection one more time, head-to-toe, then nodded.

He was all ready to get his heart broken tonight.

A familiar knocking echoed in his headspace, and then Shirabu opened the door. The tall, ginger head Kawanishi was standing idly across him. When their eyes met, Kawanishi’s expression quickly changed with forlorn.

“Are you sure about this, Shirabu?”

_I don’t know._

“I want some peace.”

In solidarity, Kawanishi beckoned the other to follow him. Shirabu lived in the third floor of his apartment building, but the entire walk from his unit to Kawanishi’s car was silent, which was a good thing. Despite making the decision a few weeks ago, Shirabu still needed time to prepare himself emotionally for what was probably the most stupid thing he’d do in his life.

When Shirabu got in on the passenger seat, Kawanishi threw him a look. “I thought you got dizzy when you sit there,” he asked. Shirabu glanced into the rearview mirror and the empty backseats, his eyes clouded with loneliness. It was all the answer Kawanishi needed.

As he started the car, the ginger added, “You really are an open book when you’re heartbroken.”

Luckily, for him, Shirabu had no energy to sass him to the grave.

He simply shrugged. “I guess I am.”

The pub was only a 10-minute drive away from the apartment. Maybe enough time for Kawanishi to coax something out of his friend, besides incoherent sniffling. “I just wanna know why, Shirabu. It’s been a year already and your communication has completely died out. Now, you’re just gonna be…” he paused, sneaking a glance at Shirabu, who was looking out the window blankly. Kawanishi pursed his lips. Heartbroken, hopeless, and completely out of sorts? That wasn’t like Shirabu at all. Finally, he continued, “…be all impulsive like this?”

There was a genuine attempt made, but Shirabu ignored the question. Instead, as he got ready to step out the car, he asked one back, “How do you think he’ll react?”

Kawanishi abruptly locked the doors before the other could leave. He was not just going to stand by while one of his friends deliberately tried to reopen what was thought to be healed wounds. “Shirabu, you’re literally wearing the hoodie he gave you five years ago. All I want to know is why you’re still beating yourself up!”

“Let me out of the car, Kawanishi!”

The closed confines didn’t help as the two erupted into an argument. Kawanishi continued trying to probe, but Shirabu remained stubborn. The ginger’s finger raced to the lock button as Shirabu tried to unlock his door. It may have been a bit selfish, but he was just concerned. He continued, “Just one, Shirabu. Give me one **good** reason for me to let you walk into that pub or to even leave my car. As your friend, I can’t just let you see him again! After how things ended—”

“It’s exactly because of that! Now, please, let me out!” Shirabu’s eyes welled up with tears, and Kawanishi instantly regretted. The latter quickly opened the glove compartment and shoved the single box of tissues at the other. The tension deflated as Shirabu wiped his cheeks of any tearstain. Calmly, Kawanishi said, “I’ll wait for you here. Take all the time you need in there.”

His voice barely audible, Shirabu muttered his thanks before stepping out the car. The chilly evening breeze brushed against his exposed cheek. The golden light from the pub flooded his still glassy vision. To his own surprise, all the anxiety and second thoughts had somehow disappeared from his mind. He’ll have to thank Kawanishi later.

Unlike the other establishments in the district, this pub’s patrons weren’t as raucous. The moment Shirabu entered, smooth acoustics flowed into his ears. The soft music somehow warmed him up immediately. However, a hollow feeling settled inside when he saw the person on the stage. Shirabu’s heart threatened to burst when he saw him smile. He looked so happy. Had he completely moved on in just a year?

Shirabu was fine with getting the short end of the stick sometimes, but this seemed really… _really…_ unfair.

The last notes of the previous song started to fade out. Having missed the majority of it was like the universe sparing Shirabu from _some_ of the heartbreak. Yet the vacant table a few feet away from the stage was just cruel. While Semi was busy fiddling with his guitar, Shirabu took the opportunity to slip into his seat and shrink behind the other customers in front of him. He watched as Semi straightened up, exactly how he would whenever he was about to perform. Then, Semi flashed a winning smile at the crowd, eliciting excited cheers from the crowd.

Shirabu’s heart only ached for Semi to smile at him. At him alone.

The same charming voice filled the bar melodically, and Semi hadn’t even started singing yet. His fingers fluttered against the strings of his instrument, accompanying a few opening remarks. “I guess some of you are expecting me to sing my song ‘Say You Love Me, Too’, but I hope you guys can let me off this one time,” he said, smiling apologetically then chuckling. A charmer, as always.

“It’s a song I haven’t released yet, but I hope everyone enjoys it,” he added. Then, his guitar strumming stopped the idle tune, and began anew with a different melody.

Semi began singing the first lines, and Shirabu felt like a complete fool. The universe wasn’t on his side tonight. And the song wasn’t meant for him.

Or was it?

_I know you didn't call your parents and tell 'em that we ended  
'Cause you know that they'd be offended  
Did you not want to tell 'em it's the end?_

Shirabu’s mind raced back down memory lane.

He was going back to his parents’ home for the New Year. Semi was supposed to come back with him, per Shirabu’s mother’s personal request. Shirabu’s temporary leave request had been granted, and Semi had managed to reschedule his holiday gigs. The two had packed up for the trip a week ahead, but they had to make some last-minute changes.

After all, they had broken up just four days before they planned to leave the city.

Shirabu’s parents loved Semi like a son. He couldn’t bring himself to tell them the news. Not yet, at least. Instead, he told his parents that one of Semi’s gigs couldn’t find a way to reschedule him.

It took Shirabu a month before he eventually had the heart to tell his parents the truth, but that did not make it any less painful.

_And I know we're not supposed to talk  
But I'm getting ahead of myself  
I get scared when we're not  
'Cause I'm scared you're with somebody else_

Shirabu was lost in his own thoughts. It wasn’t only his parents that he had to break the bad news to. But after he told them, he turned to the only other person he thought could help him through the pain. Kawanishi Taichi. More than just teammates, Kawanishi and Shirabu’s friendship extended until after high school and college. One drunken night, Shirabu had poured his heart out as he and Kawanishi sat on the floor of his apartment unit.

But, what about Eita? What was he doing? While Shirabu crumbled in the aftermath of that fateful day, did Eita feel the same heartbreak he did?

Then, reality came back to him as the words of the chorus began echoing in the pub.

_I miss you, yeah, I miss you  
I miss you, yeah, I miss you, oh, I do  
I miss you, yeah, I miss you  
Though I’m tryin’ not to right now_

That was it. Shirabu’s chest exploded. Pain. Heartbreak. Confusion. Hopelessness. His pent-up feelings burst from within him. The lump in his throat threatened to climb upward. Nevertheless, Shirabu’s strengths lied in his ability to control himself, even in the tightest of situations. He bolted towards the restroom.

What was Semi trying to achieve? That, Shirabu didn’t know. Nor how Semi spotted the familiar hoodie as it flashed, for just a second, into his view.

It nearly made him stop singing. Maybe his eyes were playing tricks on him? No. It can’t be… How would his own handstitched patches end up on any other hoodie?

Did Shirabu really have to come to this pub? Of all places? While he was singing _this_ particular song? That he wrote because of Shirabu in the first place.

Semi’s eyes followed the familiar figure, until it disappeared into a corridor, whilst his fingers continued to work away on his guitar, like a programmed machine. His muscles moved from the memory of him playing the same tune, almost every night, for the past nine months. It was only his luck that he could still sing the lyrics. His heart pounded in his ears like thunder rolling in the sky.

_So I saved all the texts  
All of the best over the years  
Just to remind myself of how good it is  
Yeah, I saved all the texts off of my ex  
Minus the tears  
Just to remind myself of how good it is, or was  
  
_

The lyrics rang in both of their ears. In a locked cubicle, Shirabu cried his heart out. A familiar sound that echoed in Semi’s headspace at the same time. It was a memory etched in his mind permanently, just as Semi’s parting words were in Shirabu’s.

It felt like forever before the song ended. Semi didn’t want to waste another second. No closing remarks or messages. He had practically jumped off the stage as he raced towards the restroom.

Semi had waited so long to see him again…To hold Kenjirou in his arms again. He wanted to apologize and explain everything to him. At that moment, and every single one before it, Semi was willing to do anything to have everything go back to the way it was. He wanted to come home.

To Kenjirou Shirabu.

The restroom door flew open.

But, there was no one inside.

“Kenjirou…” Semi sunk to his knees. Maybe his heart was playing tricks on him, after all.

Meanwhile, Kawanishi’s car was already on the road, heading towards Shirabu’s apartment. The latter’s arrival had taken the driver by surprise. Tear stains were smeared all over Shirabu’s cheeks, and the eyes that shed them were red and puffy. As sensitive as he could be, Kawanishi asked, “So…did you two…?”

Shirabu smiled. A broken and forced one.

“Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.”

**Author's Note:**

> I would love to read your feedback and/or suggestions in the comments! Thank you <3


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